How many text messages have you received from Republican or Democrat operatives in the last few weeks? For me, it’s probably north of 500. For real, stop with the text messages!

Interestingly enough, I seem to have found my way on a Republican list–I get no fewer than 20 messages a day addressing someone named “David”! And, responding with snarky answers or sending STOP, as they recommend, doesn’t actually seem to make them stop.

So, I guess I’m stuck with them until Nov. 3. And, if I’m stuck with them, I my as well learn from them!

And there’s so much to learn from these savvy political operatives. So many best practices! Just look at these key learnings I’ve observed from previous text messages:

1: Always play the guilt card.

This message from Sunday typifies a common tactic that I can only assume always works!

Shaming your customers is always a good idea. I suggest doubling-down on this smart strategy, especially as the holiday season kicks in

2: Celebrities who haven’t been relevant for 25 years are huge influencers of behavior

And, who’s a bigger non-relevant celebrity than Herschel Walker! Just look at how convincing Herschel is in this recent text:

Always use these celebs that were mildly impactful in the mid-90s. They will hold considerable sway over your audience and drive sales!

3: Emotional connection matters!

And, what better way to establish a true emotional connection with your audience than to instill fear and loathing! Make sure to hit it hard–really make them feel the fear, as featured in this message.

4: When it doubt, USE ALL CAPS TO CAPTURE CUSTOMERS ATTENTION

This best practice is obvious, but the Republicans love to take advantage of it–and for good reason. ALL CAPS ALWAYS WORKS!

5: Establish a good rapport with your customers

Use phrases like “I tried to reach you earlier” to really make an intimate connection with customers. They’ll feel like they know you! No one does this better than Republicans, as featured here:

Brilliant marketing by POTUS here. I’d basically try to mimic anything he does from a digital marketing perspective. Pure genius!

These are just a few of my favorite best practices from the Republican Party. And, the most impressive strategy? When customers want to opt-out of your emails, make it impossible to do so! Or, better yet, just ignore them! Fool-proof and GENIUS!